This afternoon, I was hunting for hotels for my luncheon.  As there are not too many options at Royapettah, Chennai, the area where I dwell, I decide to have my lunch from a hotel which is nearby where I reside.

As I progressed to the entrance, I see an old man approaching me and mumbling something. As he appeared extremely ugly, shabby and malodorous, I decide to give him an ignore and went in to order food as nothing came about.

But then, I knew from within that my conduct was inappropriate, considering his age factor.   When this thought started pricking me, I decide to approach him. As he saw me approaching, he got down to talk to me in English and politely requested me to buy him some food.  This behavior of his intrigued me.  Somewhere, I felt, he may have been cast out by his family members.  First time ever, I decide to buy someone, who is neither my friend nor family, something which he had asked for, and, that too for a homeless man.   I ordered food for him, got it parceled and I paid the bill for the gentle old man.

I became busy with munching down my lunch and by the time I was done, I could see him nowhere in the vicinity.  He had already left.

I walked down the junction, crossed the lane and I hear a weaker voice trying to reach me from far behind; “Saar, saar.  I bless you from bottom of my heart. You have provided food to an orphan a homeless”. 

I could very easily relate to the word orphan and the emotions attached to it.  My eyes got all teary. I requested him for a photograph with him and he replied with a smile “with all my heart, and with pleasure”. (in English) 

What could be his story?  

I could be that homeless man tomorrow, who knows. Despite we cling on to our family and friends, we live a farce life, where we make ourselves believe that we are amongst those fortunate who are bound by all family and friends.   Maybe, this gentle old man, also had the same feeling, until life knocked him down.

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 

August 12th 2017

याद है मुझे आज भी 

 वो शाम 

सोंधी सी खुशबू थी 

महक रहा था आसमान 

सूरज सिसकियाँ लेते हुए 

बादल  की ओढ़नी में  छुपा था 

बिदाई का वक़्त था 

और मेरे नयन थे नम 

मगर, दुल्हन तू 

हँस  रही थी, खिलखिला रही थी 

ना कोई ग़म, ना आँसू

बांवरा मैं , सोच के बैठा

कि मेरे प्यार में थी तू पागल

मगर आज लगा है पता मुझे

तेरी उस हँसी का वजूद 

बिदाई तो  हुई थी तेरी 

पर मायका नहीं छूटा था 

और, मायका तेरा ले 

डूब गया है छोटा सा आशियाना मेरा !

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : Aj's album.

Reclined, in the ocean of compassion,
Oh, lotus eyed, you smile.

In your mesmerizing smile,
I sense my mockery.

 Am saddened,
Deeply hurt.

Should I be concerned
or, be relieved?

Unable to decipher your smile,
I sit confused.

Hey, Lakshmi Ramana,
I've been always graced by you.

My devotion now tested,

by the mortals.

Oh, Infinite!
Prove it to this ruthless World,

Of your presence in me,

for I am You.

 © 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

   

Eyes they say

Mirror one’s soul

I wish

I could scoop them off

For

A mirror always

manipulates

 

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved) 

Image Courtesy:  Aj's personal Archive. 

As I flip through

my emotions

which lay all over me

And within,

I stumble upon

A moment

A frame of time

That Once was!

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)  

Learn to fly, Son.
soar high, you must

Stars, must you conquer

Spread your Lil wings
Take a leap

I've let you fly today
Away from my nest
Never from my Soul

For, you belong to yourself

I am here for you
always,
In case, just in case,
You need a hug
A warm 
heart-to-heart hug

You and I
bear the hereditary gene

Forget not, my Son
I am You

Unison and separation
Elemental in life,
I've learnt.

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

It’s dim

Gruesomely dark

All I can see is vague

Opaque

Unfathomable

 thoughts!

All I could is

 sigh so deep,

To blow away

 the dark 

the vague

the opaque,

Liberating my soul.

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)  

 Oh, the auspicious one

Benevolent your form

Yet, you erupt fire

Slayer, you become

For once, I urge you

Stage the dance of destruction

Whilst, you embrace me

In the halo, of your kindness

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)  

I am uncertain why,

I've been asked to prove myself,

Every single day, every single time,

Can't I just be me?

No other being,

exist to please the other,

but me!

Oh hell yeah,

Hence, I am labeled a

 “Husband”.

© 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

Image courtesy: Pixabay

Am I the outcome of lust? Is that why, you abandoned me? Was reconciliation so difficult?  Have you never felt the urge to embrace me?

He stood dazed, unable to reply his teenage daughter. The inner voice had nothing to suggest at this moment, but, a stony silence! 

Nevertheless, he stood there with a frowned, poker, pale face, as if, it was to justify his deeds and his false ego.

He had deserted them in search of the ultimate truth, the “Aham Brahmasmi” - A realization.

Unaware of the fact that until the ego dies, he cannot achieve this state.

                                                                                      

                                                           © 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

PS: A 100-word story.                                                 Image courtesy: Pixabay

They ask me, 

How are You?

I am fine, thank you,

I reply.

Unsure,

if they've noticed

my lifeless eyes,

the pale smile.

I am fine, I repeat

My voice feeble; 

-pause-

vacuum creeps in.

©  2015 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

  

Today, we celebrate, Navami. The 9th day of Navratri. 

The ( idol) Goddess arrives on the golden Chariot, defeating the demon king. This win over the evil is celebrated by one and all. 

I become part of such a procession which is held to celebrate this victory.

Amongst the crowd I see Her, unbothered, she dances.

It’s her way to rejoice.

Her moves sensuous, balancing the flower pot on her head, she sways.

Seeing her curves, the crowd goes berserk.

“Abundance in life is what you offered,

You the mother, WE the kids.

You are just,

Caring your nature, you treat us as equals”… a mild song is played in the backdrop, praising the Goddess. 

She swings to the tune, ignoring the stare of the eyes around her.

Amongst the crowd, a voice whispers, in a tone of ridicule, to the other,“She’s a Third Gender” pointing at the dancer.

 © 2015 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

A tear rolls down my cheek.

I ask the eye,

Are you hurt?

Nope! 
But, your Heart is,
thus says, the Eye.

Empathy, I see.

© 2015 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

The bygones,

Days, months, years,

Age,

Youth.

I hark back,

I, be cognizant of

What I've Sown!

‘tis

Harvest time.

I reap Zilch.

Now,

I am desperate,

I try to mend the past.

How Silly!

My present

always an orphan,

Amidst,

my tryst,

to mend my past,

and

Secure the future.

© 2015 Ajay Pai (Reserved)



Pic Courtesy : https://pixabay.com/en/skull-cemetery-genoa-teeth-bone-476740/

Bountiful  sins,

Vulnerable my soul,

 With the burden of Sins,

Oh, creator! Liberate me.

 I stand brittle,

With  head  bowed down,

fragile, paralyzed.

Inept even to stare

Into

 Your deep, soothing eyes.

My soul gags

For, I have embezzled

that which doesn’t belong to me.

Oh, creator! redeem me.

Never was I lavish,

 ‘bout Care and affection

 on those who have

Mothered me!

Never was I religious,

No prayers,

No fastings.

Unholy 

the

Holy books to me.

My Life truly

an untamed horse.

Hurt and bruises

My giveaway to all.

I might have

Ceased to sin,

Only if you’d

raised an alarm.

Omnipresent

Is what you are called!

But I realize,

You are a mere onlooker

Thus, Days and years

Has fallen off

my calendar.

Now, I realize!

I prostrate,

surrender

my ego

at your lotus feet.

Oh, Lord Vithala!

Unshackle me.

Courtesy: Purandara dasa Kruthi                                © 2015 Ajay Pai (Reserved)