Thursday, June 22, 2017

എൻ ശ്വാസമേ എന്നിൽ നിന്നും 
അകന്നു പോവുന്നതെന്തെ നീ  
കാണാമറയത്തു നിന്നു
കുളിർ കാറ്റു വീശുവാനോ ?
അറിയുന്നുവോ നീ -
എൻ മനതാരിൽ നീളേ നിൻ 
പ്രേമത്തിൻ തളിർ മണ്ഡപങ്ങൾ 
പൂത്തനേരം 
ഒരു ചെമ്പനീർ ഇരുത്തു
നിൻ മുടിയിഴയിൽ വയ്ക്കുവാൻ 
വെറുതെ എൻ മനം തുടിച്ചു 


copyright +Ajay Pai 23rd June 2017
Image courtesy : AJ's personal archive


Wednesday, June 21, 2017



Knock me down, kick me off
But,
take me away from the night
that falls tomorrow

my fists are clenched
and, the heart is cold
as you drag me to the podium

I see no angels up there
But, vampires
With their masks on, waiting

It is there on the podium
they’ll pronounce me as a husband
And, the night that ensues
Will blow away from me my virginity.



Copyright @ Ajay Pai 22nd June 2017







Tuesday, June 20, 2017



They never bought me toys
We were poor
Now that I could buy toys
They say, I am grown up

Some dreams remain
unfulfilled
And then, you realize 
You've been consumed 
by your own dreams, chasing

So is love, for me
premature was its death
in the womb of my heart
Just like a broken toy

The lump of love
has now hardened like cancer
It has begun to feed on my life;
Slow and painful
Would be my death.



Copyright @ Ajay Pai 11th March 2017



होले  होले  थरथराती 
छनक छनक पायलिया बाँध 
आयी  मेघा बाँवरी बरसती हुई !
बिजली जब कौंध जाती थी 
सहम के टिप टिप गिरते थे 
आँसू उसकी ऊंची अटरिया से !



Copyright @ Ajay Pai  June 20 th 2017 

Sunday, June 18, 2017



നീലാകാശ  ചെരുവിൽ മഞ്ഞു പോൽ 
ഒഴുകി നടക്കും എൻ കാവ്യമേഘമേ 
ഇന്നിനി എങ്ങിനെ  ഞാൻ മൂളും 
എൻ പൈതലിനായ് ഒരു താരാട്ട് 
അമ്മിഞ്ഞ പാലിൻ മധുരം നുണഞ്ഞവൻ 
താതന്റെ  ഹൃദയ നൊമ്പരത്തിൻ 
വീണയിൽ തൻ വിരലുകൾ മീട്ടുമോ ?



copyright @Ajay Pai 18th  June 2017


Friday, June 16, 2017


ഈറനണിഞ്ഞു  നിൽക്കും നിൻ യൗവ്വനം 
നിറഞ്ഞു തുളുമ്പും മധുചന്ദ്രിക പോൽ 
നിൻ മാറിനെ തഴുകി അതി ലോലമായി 
ഒഴുകും ആ നീർതുള്ളി പോൽ 
അലസമായി നിൻ മേനിയിൽ 
ഒഴുകി പടർന്നുവോ പ്രിയതേ എൻ അധരങ്ങൾ 



copyright @ Ajay Pai
+Micropoem

Monday, June 12, 2017



It’s unbelievable how the happiest moment of your life can turn into the worst within minutes. I guess, that’s how people who have been in train wrecks or tsunamis feel, that is, if they have survived to tell the tale. I feel exactly like one such survivor right now.

My wife and I are separated. Not legally yet, but on all other planes, we are. I guess, some relationships are not meant to be. But come to think of it, every relationship does have a silver lining. Ours is Ishaan.  

Ishaan, as the whole world knows by now, means the world to me. It is inconceivable that I think of my life sans Ishaan. If I breathe, it is in the hope that I might see my little one and perhaps he might get to know this accursed being, that is his father.

Well, though Ishaan was snatched from me unlawfully, and all my attempts to reconcile with my wife failed, my heart ached for Ishaan. I sometimes wish she'd let me know the reason why we aren't together and why I have to seek permission to see my own son. I couldn’t stop my parents-in-law from forcefully relocating my son to their house, but how could I give up on seeing my son? He is a piece of my heart and without him, I’m sure my heart would stop beating.

Taking legal recourse, I was “granted” two hours, every second Sunday of the month to see my son. I’m not sure if you’d understand how empty and meaningless 29 days of the month feel and how I live them with the only hope of seeing Ishaan on the one day that I’m entitled to see him. But when that day comes, I’m unbelievably excited, my heart beats like it is compensating for all the other days of the month, and I can’t stop thinking of all that we’d together.    

Yesterday was ‘that’ day. Our day together. Ishaan and I.


I’m supposed to meet my own son in a public place, not in the comfort of my own home, where he can leave memories for me to relish in his absence. Hell, not even in the city where I stay. Though we both stay in the same city, we both have to travel to another city to meet each other. Sounds pretty twisted, I know, but there’s no limit to what someone can do when they have decided to put you through pain. They will not even stop at putting a child through the same pain.  



As would be expected, I arrived before time at the mall to meet Ishaan. After a longish wait, I saw him. My sweet, innocent son, holding hands that were invisible handcuffs. All of 3, he looked like a fine young man. When had he grown so big? He was walking now, which meant I had lost watching him crawl, trying to stand up, fall, and try again, I had missed watching him teeth, taking him to his first haircut, and in short, all the firsts that’s typically father and son. His unsteady gait beckoned me to hold him in my arms and his smile brought tears to my eyes.



When I finally picked him up and held him close, I’m sure everyone could hear my heart break. Under the watchful eye of his grandparents Ishaan played with me. He’d hide and ask me to seek, he’d run and play catch, he’d laugh and speak, like he had never forgotten me. When he helped me pick up clothes and toys for himself, I was so proud of his choices.






But this camaraderie was getting too much for his grandparents, who I believe, did not expect Ishaan to get friendly with me like this. Cruelly, they snatched Ishaan from me and took him away. I was threatened and abused in full public view and told to stay away from my own son. They told my son I’m a bad person and ordered him not to go to me. There’s even a video of the incident captured by me as I was taking a video of my child.

I’ve never felt so broken. My life turned upside down in a matter of minutes.
I wonder what Ishaan felt that day. Did his little mind believe the lies or did he trust his dad? I hope he did the later. If he ever gets to read this someday, I want him to know that he’ll always be a part of my heart and soul.   

#papa #IshaanAPai #Fathersday #dadslove

Saturday, June 10, 2017


Sunday, June 4, 2017




വരികില്ലയോ,  നിലാവേ
നീ  എൻ ചാരേ
വേഴാമ്പൽ പോൽ ഉരുകും
നിനക്കായ്  ഞാൻ 
ഇന്നിതാ ഉരുകി  ഒഴുകി 
നേർത്ത ഒരു ബിന്ദുവായ്‌ 
അലിയുന്നു  ഞാൻ

Copyright +Ajay Pai  4th April 2017


The day you stepped out
You left behind a lot of space
And, an eternal silence
slithering like a venomous reptile

Now, the walls have begun to disintegrate
The doors have fallen apart
The tiles make a crackling rumble
Reminding the collapse of a Kingdom

If you decide to return
You must know
That the Kingdom is lost, and,
The King is taken as a slave.




Copyright +Ajay Pai  23rd March 2017

Monday, May 22, 2017





आज होंठ मिल ही गए नशे से, ग़ालिब

और, बदनाम में हो चला

होंठ मिले जाम से
 तो पता चला की नशा क्या है

तब आई वो
इतराते, मुस्काते
तो अखियां छलक गई
और दिल काँप उठा

उसकी नज़ाकत
उसका प्यार
और उसके ज़हरीले धोखे
नज़र मुझे आए

फिर  भी करता हूँ प्यार उससे
गहरा,  जितना है ये नशा
घुली है वो नस -नस में मेरी
जैसे  हो ज़हर

पीउँगा तब तक,जब तक  होश न रहे
और
आग़ोश में न ले वो मुझको

पिऊंगा में
टोको न कोई, रोको न कोई

आएगी वो एक दिन
जनाज़े पे मेरे
देखूँगा में तब
क्या लिपटी होगी वो कोरे सफ़ेद में
या होगी वो लिपटी रंगीन गुलाल में

Copyright @ Ajay Pai  22nd May 2017



Saturday, May 13, 2017

थम  जा ए वक़्त, ठहर  जा
जीना अब नहीं  उसके बिना 

है वो नूर मेरे दिल-ए -जिगर  की
कैसे जियूँ उसके बिन ये बता

धुंधला सी  गयी है अब हंसी मेरी 
रुलाके चल न देना कहीं

ये जो आलम है मेरे दिल का
 पहचान ले तू यारा

ये धड़कन अब है मोहताज तेरी
हालत  ये तू  जान ले

बिन वजूद घुट रहा हूँ
तेरे बिन इस चौराहे पे

अगर ये हवायें पहुंचा दे 
उस तक मेरे दिल की खामोशियाँ
शायद, इकरार फरमाएंगी तब
उसकी नूरानी अखियां


Copyright @ Ajay Pai  8th May 2017

Saturday, May 6, 2017

It is 1 am
And, I am sitting’ straight
On my bed waiting for you
The night has grown darker
and, I am up for you

silent is the night
and, empty is my glass
won’t you come home
and, pour me some red wine

sneak-in, hushed
I’ve left the door ajar
let us make some hay
When the night is dark

Touch me once
kiss me twice, make me yours
and, i'll whisper into your ears
tender silent moans



Copyright @ Ajay Pai 
May 7th 2017
Image courtesy: Pixabay 


Tuesday, May 2, 2017



At the edge of my life
Is where I stood
Hopeful were my eyes

Simply then,
Like every fairy tale
There she came, ominous

At her arrival
Horrendous, were the screeches
Of the unborn in the wombs;
Young mothers were scooped of
Their bosoms

On the carcass
Of compassion she stood
With her heels piercing the flesh
Of humankind

Her violin
Zigzagged between
Melody and harmony

At the end of the ballad,
she declared
With three cheers
Peace restored.

*************

Copyright @ Ajay Pai
 02nd May 2017
Image courtesy: Pixabay

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Like those daffodils
Which sway in the breeze
Swing me in your arms, girl
Just like those daffodils
swing me..

It was just the other day
Not so very long ago
You sang me a song of love
it was the day
 when those daffodils bloomed

Sing me once again
That very song, of daffodils
And of love, where the breeze
Sway us just the way it did
to those daffodils

Let us glow
Let us shine bright
Just the way a daffodil does
As you sing the song of love

Swing me in your arms, girl

 

Copyright @ Ajay Pai  April 28th 2017
Image Courtesy: AJ's personal collection

Thursday, April 20, 2017



Let me tell you something
Mm, tell ya all somethin’
That something
Which will drive you crazy
You’ll raise an eye brow
Drop a jaw;
Listen ya all
Let me blow into your ears
This secret.
A cringing secret, a dark secret
A well-kept secret
but, my lips are sealed.
Hey, Girl
Kiss my lips, a wet saline kiss
And steal this secret;
Kiss me will you?
Else, I shall spill the secret .

**********************


Originally published on October 26, 2016Coimbatore on my FB page.
Steal a secret - A fun song that has to be sung with a tinge of naughtiness / Or, should the tone be of cockiness?
(I have edited this song umpteen no. Of times).


Copy right @ Ajay Pai 2016
Image Courtesy: AJ's personal collection

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Statutory warning: Drinking they say is injurious to "Your" health (not mine) People in their right senses not to read this poem.


Hic-a-one, hic-a-two, hic-a-three
no, hic-a-four, no
and
stop, stop, stop
I feel ticklish
there’s a belly in my fire
and, I dance
tap-a-tap-a-tap-a-tap
and, I laugh
bu-aha-aha-ha-ha-oha-ha
and, there’s a belly in my fire

I plead to the girl
in the polka dotted dress,
to help me
arrange these words?
How do I fit my belly, in my fire?

she smiles
she swirls her polka frock, walks, says, I am tipsy
And, there’s my belly
And, the fire
I am jumbled
where do I fit my belly, in my fire?

Ah-Whistles-whistles-whistles-ah
I hear a bear in the beer
And, the beer says,
hic-a-hic
Hic-a-hic,
hic, hic, hic
And, a chic…chick

Oops, i'll come back tomorrow
to do the lines
As of now, i am just
hic-a-hic


Copyright @ Ajay Pai  4th April 2017
Image courtesy - AJ's personal collection

Saturday, April 8, 2017



You've tied me to the wind, 
Crowned me with florals of thorn
Lashed me with your eye lashes;
Unshackle me, once
Let me carry you on my clipped wings 
To the cloudy skies of orgasm.



Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017
A micro poem written on the Valentine's day.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017


Lolita, how shall I do you?
Now that you blew me a kiss
I'd breach the line of fire
Here, on the man's land

You were a taboo, until last night
But then, now we smoke -
The same sweltering breathe
Drenched in the red wine

Hey Lolita, how shall I do you?

I am scorching, crush me some ice
Let it trickle down
To the point where our desires encounter
Let's fuse into the heaven of love

Blow me a day, blow me a night
Let our whispers moan
To create a flawless match
And, this is how I'd planned our sultry night



Copyright @Ajay Pai 2nd April 2017
Image courtesy: Pexels

A song, narrating the way to plan your sultry night. ;) ( ensure you are above the age of 18 years).

Sunday, March 26, 2017



I watch the sky
And wonder, 
If it would rain on this summer day?

It sounds so wrong
Sprinkles and the sunshine
All together

I am certain
Made for each other
They were not




Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017
Image courtesy: AJ's personal archives
Written on Jan 21st, 2017

Friday, March 24, 2017


It was pure bliss this morning. I truly saw "GOD" in my dream. This is how i felt when i woke up from my dream.

O’ Purushothama, my supreme lord
Now, it is time for you to walk alongside me
But then,
You descend upon me merely in my dreams
Reflecting it as an illicit affair between us
Yet, the scholars hail you
as a manifestation of the purest essence
O’ lord, you are eternally pure
Am I blessed by you?

O’ Krishna, my dark complexioned lord,
whose every act is righteous
The sight of you this morning in my slumber
In your golden aura was purely a bliss

I take refuge in you
Unveil your benevolence upon me

It is this awakening which is a hindrance
Sing a lullaby
Put me to sleep forever
Enabling my dream, 
Where I get to see you forever.



 Copyright @ +Ajay Pai  24th March 2017
Image courtesy - AJ's gallery
  


Sunday, March 19, 2017


No, I am not an activist. 
                       
                     I am the father to a 2.5-year-old child.
                                                    
                                  My love for my child is in no way lesser to that of his Mother.                                                                                
                                                       Yes, I do not have a womb. But, I have a heart that lactates.




The Embrace of - My Son

I took my lil Chimp in my arms, held him close to my heart,  he brushed his face along my chest.  All of a sudden, I had a lil lump in my heart at that very moment. My eyes went moist. A stream of joy trickled down freely down my cheek.

Being a father is an emotion which cannot be put in words and explained.




It was a similar night,  
when crescent moon
kindled the skies,
a tiny Lil star twinkled,
my lil child was born.

I bore him in my heart,
The heart which lactates.

Ah, mortal
You measure it not!









                                                                              © 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)
                                                                          Image courtesy : AJ's archives.

to be continued...