I watch the sky

And wonder, 

If it would rain on this summer day?

It sounds so wrong

Sprinkles and the sunshine

All together

I am certain

Made for each other

They were not

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: AJ's personal archives

Written on Jan 21st, 2017

It was pure bliss this morning. I truly saw "GOD" in my dream. This is how i felt when i woke up from my dream.

O’ Purushothama, my supreme lord

Now, it is time for you to walk alongside me

But then,

You descend upon me merely in my dreams

Reflecting it as an illicit affair between us

Yet, the scholars hail you

as a manifestation of the purest essence

O’ lord, you are eternally pure

Am I blessed by you?

O’ Krishna, my dark complexioned lord,

whose every act is righteous

The sight of you this morning in my slumber

In your golden aura was purely a bliss

I take refuge in you

Unveil your benevolence upon me

It is this awakening which is a hindrance

Sing a lullaby

Put me to sleep forever

Enabling my dream, 

Where I get to see you forever.

 Copyright @ +Ajay Pai  24th March 2017

Image courtesy - AJ's gallery

  

No, I am not an activist. 

                       

                     I am the father to a 2.5-year-old child.

                                                    

                                  My love for my child is in no way lesser to that of his Mother.                                                                                

                                                       Yes, I do not have a womb. But, I have a heart that lactates.

The Embrace of - My Son

I took my lil Chimp in my arms, held him close to my heart,  he brushed his face along my chest.  All of a sudden, I had a lil lump in my heart at that very moment. My eyes went moist. A stream of joy trickled down freely down my cheek.

Being a father is an emotion which cannot be put in words and explained.

The heart that lactates

It was a similar night,  

when crescent moon

kindled the skies,

a tiny Lil star twinkled,

my lil child was born.

I bore him in my heart,

The heart which lactates.

Ah, mortal

You measure it not!

                                                                              © 2016 Ajay Pai (Reserved)

                                                                          Image courtesy : AJ's archives.

to be continued...

Old Lady, feel your breasts

Know, they’ve begun to sag

Your eyes will soon begin to bag

Count your moments, now on

Sooner, in your palms you’ll see stains

of the wounds of my past.

 You’ll hear this world call out your name

in disgust;

in such abhorrence you’ll breathe

your last with no one around

like an orphan

and, on that day I would come to life

to ask you, how it feels

of having to perish as an orphan.

Mark my words

Copyright +Ajay Pai  16th March 2017

Image courtesy: Pexels

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

My life sprouted within you

I inhaled a part of your breath

You kept me entangled and knotted-

with the umbilical cord, 

thus,

curbing my freedom

it was you again, 

who crushed me

beneath a heap of letters

which spelt “indebted”

and,

I was forced to pawn myself

to you for a lifetime

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 15th March 2017

Image does not belong to me

There was nothing but abuse

in your love

at times it was your gaze

then the touch

even your sinful kiss

the way you slithered

on me

Was there love ever?

I wonder.

At the orgasm

You left the bed

With a kiss that bruised me

Now, they call me

A gigolo.

Copyright +Ajay Pai  4th March 2017

Have you ever heard of God seeking forgiveness?

Sans his halo

In my slumber last night

He came running over,

fell on my feet

incessantly sobbing

seeking forgiveness

for, he had erred

despite my tears

I ruffled his hair, consoled

And, said it was okay to err

smiling off my tears

Sigh!

Plight of God

Sans his halo

Copyright @ Ajay Pai | 3^rd march 2017

Avenge - A Poem. Can you guess, who is referred to as "he" in this poem?

Abhor, human!

Do not throw me into the pyre

To turn me into ashes

And dust

Neither, chant those Sanskrit hymns

Nor smear sandal on my mortal remains

Instead, allow me to rot

For the worms to crawl over my heart

Let the rotten stench of our love

Spread all across -

The land

The Oceans and the galaxies

This is my way to avenge him

He should smoulder

In regret

for his dreadful sin 

of bringing her into my life.

Copyright © Ajay Pai 2017

Few comments from the readers:

It has been a while that we’ve met

And, all my attempts

To get in touch with you

Went in vain

Unsure, if we would meet ever again

While we walk on this green earth?

This wasn’t the way I had dreamt

Of us

But then, the law of nature has its

Own unique way

But, I know you love me

Even at this darkest hour of the day

Remember love?

I had narrated to you this day of ours

Before we walked down the aisle

That it isn’t going to be a bed of roses

This is how we began our life

Don’t you remember?

This is how we began our journey
Of two-getherness

If only these lifeless letters

Could bring back to you

Those memories … of us

Which we’d woven together

Things wouldn’t be then

The same as it is now…

If only these lifeless letters…

© 2017 Ajay Pai (Reserved) 

Image courtesy : AJ's personal album

आज की रात अलौकिक

डमरू निनाद अभौमिक

मेरा शरीर नश्वर

मैं तुझमे विलीन

मैं नाही शिव

मैं नहीं निराकार

न मैं ब्रह्म

फिर क्यूँ दर्द में तपता है ये दिल मेरा

बहतें क्यूँ हैं आंसू जैसे गंगा की धार

रेंगता है क्यूँ  सर्प तन पे मेरे ऐसे

जैसे कि हूँ में शिव

कैसे समझाऊँ तुझे

मैं नहीं  शिव

मैं नहीं गंगाधर

न मैं नागभूषण

फिर हूँ मैं कौन?

हूँ मैं नीलकंठ

जिस को पिलाया विष इस दुनिया ने

सात  फेरों में

और अग्नि को साक्षी बनाके

हाँ,हाँ, हाँ
  अब लगने लगा है मुझे

कि हूँ मैं  नीलकंठ

© 2017 Ajay Pai (Reserved)  

Image courtesy : Google

********************************************************************************************

Lord Shiva, out of compassion, swallowed the poison. But he squeezed his throat to prevent the poison descending into his body. Thus the poison was stuck in Shiva's throat, and it was so potent that it changed the colour of Shiva's neck to blue.

This is how Lord Shiva got the name Neelkanth (neela = blue, kantha = throat)

या अल्लाह अर-रहीम 

कितने सजदे 

किये तेरे दर पे 

इस नजिस ने!

आँसू रुकते नहीं 

काँप उठती  है रूह 

सैलाब बनके फ़ैलती है

उसकी याद!

अब नूर-ए -रहम फरमा 

और 

आगोश में ले तेरे!

मेरा  ज़मीर मेरा वजूद
तेरा है मौताज
रौनक बक्श दे अब
जनाज़ा उठने से पहले मेरा!


Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017
Image courtesy: Pexels

ah! Krishna

The color of your skin is so scandalous

It has disgraced me, O divine

O the unborn,

I cuss myself for having loved your skin

The dusky skin of yours,

which is abused as black.

Ha, this searing pain

O, slayer of Kamsa

which separates you from me,

equates me to Yashoda

O the colored one,

Is this your way to grant me, absolution?

Instead, come to me

While I breathe.

O the lord of love, Madana

You have forever kept me

bereft of your love

O Narayana, the refuge of every being

Embrace my soul

Liberate me from this disgrace,

Allow me to fuse into you, O lotus eyed.

It is this skin of  yours, O Shyam

My scandalous Lord

that has disgraced me! 

O divine,

O divine.

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: Not Mine

Let me show you the light

That’ll light up your night

Let me show you the light

That’ll brighten your smile

Let me show you the light

That’ll bring you joy

And, here it is, my little one

The light that I’d promised
The light that'll kindle your heart

It is nothing, but

The love of your dad

Whom, you recall now
only as a friend.

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Video - AJ's personal collection

     I’ve been loitering in this dubious realm

 for you since ages, Krishna

This lactating heart of mine yearns for you;

Adorning the anklets, won’t you come running

into my arms?

The tinkling anklets and your giggles, brightens my little world

And then,

I feel a strong urge to dance among the dusky clouds

embracing you.

But today, as we dance on the clouds

The rains do not drench us

Depriving us from each other’s love

Why do you suffocate me, your father, thus?

Is having no womb such a sin?

Ishaan, my Krishna, how do I narrate

My love for  you?

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Images: AJ's photo gallery.

http://ajthedad.blogspot.in/2017/06/stolen.html?m=1

I am a widower, they say

My sufferings had no pathos

as my smile had masked my sorrow

I am a widower, of a different kind

During the nuptial night

Love, you’ve trampled me

Your kiss on my lips bruised us

And, I remain a virgin until this time

Oh, this dark night brings

At my door steps those moments

That brought a rainbow on my sky

Which I thought was mine too

But now, I have no rainbows

Nor the clouds and the sky

The colors have now faded

For, I am a widower of a different kind.

Copyright @Ajay Pai 2017

Image Courtesy : AJ's personal archive

Every now and then when my heart flutters

I feel a chill that shudders

With the red roses in my garden

Here I stand wanting to blush again

When one falls in love all over again

How does one know that it isn’t a bane?

Let me fall in love

Let me rise in love

All over again

As if there is no tomorrow, ever again…

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: AJ's personal archive

There wasn’t just enough love -

In your eyes, my love, for me to blush

my songs have now fallen into a hush

the strings of my guitar has rusted

with the melody of the song busted

I often think why did it not last long

and,

I hear very often my heart pull a song

That croons –

There wasn’t just enough love

There wasn’t just enough love

My love…

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Last night as we made love

draped in the breeze  

Our hearts were tugged

You were mine forevermore

Why wouldn't the time freeze?

Take a pause

for us to count the beats of our hearts

To fathom the depths of our love

Let the night croon

‘bout the love bites

that ran deep through our hearts

And, of the love which seeped out

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: Pexels