I am a widower, they say

My sufferings had no pathos

as my smile had masked my sorrow

I am a widower, of a different kind

During the nuptial night

Love, you’ve trampled me

Your kiss on my lips bruised us

And, I remain a virgin until this time

Oh, this dark night brings

At my door steps those moments

That brought a rainbow on my sky

Which I thought was mine too

But now, I have no rainbows

Nor the clouds and the sky

The colors have now faded

For, I am a widower of a different kind.

Copyright @Ajay Pai 2017

Image Courtesy : AJ's personal archive

Every now and then when my heart flutters

I feel a chill that shudders

With the red roses in my garden

Here I stand wanting to blush again

When one falls in love all over again

How does one know that it isn’t a bane?

Let me fall in love

Let me rise in love

All over again

As if there is no tomorrow, ever again…

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: AJ's personal archive

There wasn’t just enough love -

In your eyes, my love, for me to blush

my songs have now fallen into a hush

the strings of my guitar has rusted

with the melody of the song busted

I often think why did it not last long

and,

I hear very often my heart pull a song

That croons –

There wasn’t just enough love

There wasn’t just enough love

My love…

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Last night as we made love

draped in the breeze  

Our hearts were tugged

You were mine forevermore

Why wouldn't the time freeze?

Take a pause

for us to count the beats of our hearts

To fathom the depths of our love

Let the night croon

‘bout the love bites

that ran deep through our hearts

And, of the love which seeped out

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image courtesy: Pexels

  

कबूल कबूल कबूल

से शूरू हुई थी

कहानी उनकी, मद्धम मद्धम

सूरज चाँद तारों के बीच

बदलते गए मौसम

खुशहाल थी ज़िन्दगी

फिर एक दिन

आई शाम साँवरी इतराती

अँधेरा फैलाते हुए

गरज के बरसने  लगे अंगारों की तरह

तलाक़ तलाक़ तलाक़

 अब  साँसें उनकी

फिर जो हुआ न पूछो, ग़ालिब 

 रातें  सुलगती नहीं थी उनकी

और सवेरा धुंधला सा था

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Image Courtesy: Pexels

प्यार मेरे,

नहीं किया है महसूस 

  इस दुनिया को तूने 

मेरी आँखों कि रोशनी से

महसूस किया होता अगर 

इस दुनिया को 

इन आँखों कि रोशनी से

तो आज होते नज़रिये  एक हमारे

और 

यूँ ना बंटते ये रास्ते हमारे

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2017

Oh my, my

It was a scandalous morning

I sat up on my bed 

wrapped up in a blanket

I was cold

I was frozen

And, I was hustling to find

That which was missing;

I ran to the corners

I took a plunge underneath my bed

It was getting on my nerves

Oh my, my

These daring brazen rays

Flirting with my naked skin

Lampooning and poking fun

I climbed up the shelves

Checked-out through the window

Trust me, will you?

It was getting on my nerves big time

Yet, I couldn’t find those.

Where are my boxers?

My blue, blue boxers

The one which wrapped me last night

Oh, yes! I recall

I was drunk, I was tipsy

And, I wore them, the boxers on my head

Instead of my Hat, Oops!

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : Aj's album

याद है मुझे आज भी 

 वो शाम 

सोंधी सी खुशबू थी 

महक रहा था आसमान 

सूरज सिसकियाँ लेते हुए 

बादल  की ओढ़नी में  छुपा था 

बिदाई का वक़्त था 

और मेरे नयन थे नम 

मगर, दुल्हन तू 

हँस  रही थी, खिलखिला रही थी 

ना कोई ग़म, ना आँसू

बांवरा मैं , सोच के बैठा

कि मेरे प्यार में थी तू पागल

मगर आज लगा है पता मुझे

तेरी उस हँसी का वजूद 

बिदाई तो  हुई थी तेरी 

पर मायका नहीं छूटा था 

और, मायका तेरा ले 

डूब गया है छोटा सा आशियाना मेरा !

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : Aj's album.

जब आँखें बंद की थी मैंने

तब  तुम थी

आँखें  खुली, तो हुई तुम गायब

लुकाछुपी में थी तुम माहिर

अब सोचता हूँ मैं
 कि तुम सपना तो नहीं!

अब नींद आई तो
सहम के करवटें बदल लेता हूँ
 ये सोच के,
 कि सपनों में टकराये  ना अखियाँ हमारी!

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : Aj's album.

साहिबा, जो पल गुज़ारे थे  हमने 

एक दूजे कि बाहों में, 

वो आज बस ख़याल बने मंडरा रहे  हैं !

दफन करदूँगा उन ख्यालों को आज 

लपेट के इस कोरे कागज़ के कफ़न में

बांधूंगा कस के इन काले लफ़्ज़ों में 

उन ख्यालों को आज

और लगाऊँगा मोहर  मियाद की !

पता चले दुनिया को 

कि, खत्म हुई है ये कहानी हमारी !

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : Aj's album.

इतनी जल्दबाज़ी क्यूँ करते हो, जनाब 

सांझ अभी तो जवान हुई है 

बहक जाने दो उन् अखियन में 

करवटें बदलने दो उनकी बाहों में 

इक रात ही तो है 

करीबी की,

रोशनी तो जुदा कर देती है !

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : www.104likes.com

आँसू तब भी निकले थे, 

ग़ालिब -

जब उसने नाता तोडा था !

और, आज भी अश्क़ निकले हैं 

जब मेला है यारों का सजा !

बस, फर्क सिर्फ इतना ही 

की आज मैं हँस पड़ा !

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : AJ's personal archive

साहिबा !

उन  होंटों में ऐसा नशा नहीं है

कि हम डगमगा जाए

नशा , तो दिल के टूटने से होता है 

बिखर के समेटने में होता है 

 रूह काँप उठती है 

होश गुम जाता है 

और, हंसी अश्क़ में ढल जाती है!

ये , नशा नहीं तो और क्या है ?

Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016

Image courtesy : AJ's personal archive

On my bedspread last night

I saw you;

You knew how to hold my face

and, smudge my lips

to drench them in love.

Swaying in the trance

I let you fuse into my rhythm.

You blew heat waves into my ears

And I slithered into this sensuous sin.

The poison on my lips

And, the raunchiness in my eyes-

Drove us insane!

Touch me

Caress me

    Let us bleed
to dance in this music of lust.

 Copyright @ Ajay Pai 2016 | Image courtesy : Aj's personal archive

The childhood 

The pungent smell of the rain,

Drenches me in its nostalgic drizzle,

I am soaking in the faint memories,

of my childhood , that I never had.

Father's wake-up kiss, his warmth,

never breached the brim of his heart;

Was articulating love forbidden?

The ride on his bicycle to school

should've been the most joyous rides ever,

But, the child, that I never was,

struggled to feel the thrill.

Mother's love, packed in a lunch box,

was blatantly mild,

It satiated the hunger, yet

left, the child in me starving for love. 

Like the blooms,

whose fragrance is the

sweetest, 

is often shy and lonely, 

like the pain of a withered leaf,

the child in me often felt

The patter of raindrops , 

on an old tin roof,

reminds me of a phase

of being pristine and hopeful,

Yet the whip of the lightening,

left tears on my chubby cheeks

Though, the pungent scent of the rain,

took me down memory lane, 

the thunder and the storm in my life,

has put the child in me to sleep, 

forever.

Copyright  @ Ajay Pai 2016   | Image courtesy: AJ's personal collections

You must know this before I sigh a goodnight

It is your love for me

That has held me sane.

Wrap me up in your love

And, walk me through this fire,

Unscathed!

I have my own fears ‘bout the demons, 

As, they may keep us apart

And, blind you from my warmth

How would you then fathom my love for you?

Gaze into your bright eyes 

And, you’d find me in there

Guarding you against your tears

helping you smile.  :)

Copyright  @ Ajay Pai 2016
image courtesy: Ganesh M Pai
This poem is written for Ishaan as a dedication to him on Children's day - November 14th.

Ashamed I am not, Krishna

My sensuous pal, to make known

To this world ‘bout my yearning for you

For a speck of your tanned blue skin.

If you let me cuddle you

I‘d smack away for myself a bit of you

To smear it on my bare body.

But then, it so happened

That I’ve been beaten blue

By this reckless love

Which reflects how contagious

My yearning for you is.

Copyright for Poem :  Ajay Pai 2016

 It is my love for you, my Son

That’ll last forever

Until then,

Hold my lil finger and let’s

Walk through these clouds

That blinds us,

To a clear sky,

Where the sunshine awaits us.

Trust me; it is going to be fine

And,

Let this hug from me comfort you, my child.

You’ve come into my life

To make me realise, how strong I am

Let me cross my heart

We shall meet again, soon

As you are yet to leave your handprints

On the wall of my life.

Copyright: Ajay Pai 2016

Image Courtesy: AJ's personal archive.

  Son, my Son

Hear the waves of an ocean

That’s gone silent over the years;

Because

The moon had bid an adieu

On that awful day.

Son, my Son, my Moon

Come over

Kiss me

And, you’ll hear the ripples of love

Over again

In the ocean of my soul;

Come over

Come over

And, we'll fly to a land far off.

Copyright: Ajay Pai 2016

Image Courtesy: AJ's personal archive 

Lady, let me walk alone

I now love this lonely stroll

Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey

Lady, let me go

Would you?

I am through with you...Ooh...Ooh

Your kiss now doesn't reach my lips

Lady, you are out of my skin

Remember, you are the sole reason for the downfall

I’ve found a purpose to walk alone

And, it feels awesome 
Just like the feel of the mist

Ooh, ooh, ooh, my love

Honey...
my alien girl

Let’s undo this love

Undo our love that once was

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Lady, let me sleep alone

Through this wet, wet night.

Copyright: Ajay Pai 2016 

Image courtesy: Pixabay